Making long distance work

Due to work requirements, my partner and I are currently living at opposite ends of the United States. We do the best we can with visits, but they are fewer and longer between than we'd both like. To get through the difficult interim moments, we have come up with a few solutions, all of which make me thankful for technology.

-Date Night
We get together on Skype of FaceTime, and do an inane activity together. I'll be with him while he cooks dinner. He will be with me while I sweep the floors. But the most fun we have is dedicated date nights. We pick a time and date, and an activity. Often it involves watching Netflix instant together, while I eat dinner and he eats lunch. It doesn't sound exciting, but it really is the high point of my weekend.

-Video Messaging
With time zones and work schedules (I'm at work by 7 AM and asleep pretty early as a result), it can be hard on weekdays to make connections. In the morning while I'm getting ready or heading to work I record a video on my phone. I then load it privately on a youtube channel we share, so he can watch it while he gets ready for his day. Its hokey, but it makes me feel like he is more involved in my day to day life.

While long distance relationships are hard, we are making it work. I'm thankful for the effort we are both willing to put in, the means we have to get together, and for the technology that makes this all more bearable.

10-10-10

In life we all experience stress. Daily stressors, like traffic or dropped toast, come and go. Larger stressors, major illnesses, major life changes, are often longer lasting. Working with teenagers one of my main goals is to help them find perspective. Yes, stress with friends is unfortunate but for some students not life altering. Failing one quiz is a learning lesson, not a mortal failure. This was all summarized in Suzy Welch's book 10-10-10 (http://www.amazon.com/10-10-10-Life-Transforming-Idea-Suzy-Welch/dp/1416591826).

Mrs. Welch is married to business man Jack Welch, and comes at the issue from a business perspective. In summary, she suggests reviewing if a problem will matter in 10 minutes, in 10 months or in 10 years. I will sometimes change the time frame, depending on the student's ability to conceptualize time. It has been one of the most effective ways I've found to help ground others (and myself!) in times of stress.

The next time we are inevitably stressed, I encourage you to consider, in 10 years will returning an email matter? Will spending time with your family? Will it matter in 10 months? Maybe, but really think about it.

And if the problem is traffic, the answer is no.